Pawned!

In our line of business, and I assume just like in other line of business in Indonesia, our clients usually have duration of payments ranging from 1 week - 2 months.

Well, one of our smaller client showed up today to pay his debt. We teased him a bit for being late with the payment. We stopped immediately though after he informed us that he paid us using the money he got from the pawnshop. He used his motorbike as the collateral.

Apparently, his wife had to go to the hospital for 5 days and he had to pay 2.5 millions for the hospital bill. This completely affected his financial situation. You see, he has no savings. I bet most of the lower class people in Indonesia don't have any savings for the rainy days.

How much is the interest?, I asked. It's 50.000 per month per 1 million borrowed. That's 5 percent per month and 60% per year, assuming it's not using the compound interest system, and gosh, I really hope not.

The current interest rate in Indonesia is, if I'm not mistaken, 8.75% per year. Banks don't touch micro loan though, and I'm sure the complicated bureaucracy doesn't motivate the small loaners. I believe most lower class people either go to pawnshop or loan sharks for their cash needs. If they're lucky, they have a wealthy enough relative to go to. Hopefully, the relative won't be too greedy and charge them with high interest.

We lend money for our employees with no interest. Most of them would borrow money when it is time to renew the contract of their house, to pay for the school admission, to pay the hospital bill for their parents, the list goes on and on. They always break even or run negative with their balance book, never a surplus.

Aside from the civil employees, I don't think there is any retirement plan in Indonesia. Not for the lower class for sure. I think they would work until they die, or they would hope that their children would be able to support them at the old age. Is that why they have many children even if they are not economically well off?

How many times do I see a husband, a wife, and their 2 children traveling on one motorbike? Sometimes it's even 3 children. What would happen if their children grow bigger and they still can't afford a car? How would they go for leisure? Could they afford to pay their school tuition? Could they afford college? I heard education costs a fortune nowadays.

What a life.

A Complete Rambling of Mind

I found out that I'm just not capable to do a coherent post nowadays. I would start something, lost interest in the topic halfway, and abandoned the writing I felt passionate about 1/2 hour ago.

So instead, I'm going to write a list of things I have had in my mind yesterday and today:

* I eat therefore I am
Statement is written while eating bread, knowing very well that lunch is 1 1/2 hour away.

* One is the loneliest number, but two is too crowded and gives me a headache.
I'm a damn hermit.

* What is the most universal human characteristic? Fear or laziness?
This is one of the questions asked in Waking Life, a superb film that gives the viewers a buffet of various idea of life, its meaning and its purposes. Surprisingly, instead of getting depressed after watching the show, I felt rejuvenated by the quality of the conversation. As for the answer to the question, mine are at an equal proportion and at an alarming level.

* Open canal/sewer system sucks!
I live in a pretty good neighborhood, yet it still stinks when I'm at outside my house. Not to mention the damn rodents running around the street. At least in India, the ones who are taking leisure walks along the city are monkeys or elephants. They are interesting and photogenic. What benefits do I get from the multitude of gigantic rodents who believe that the streets are their properties? Oh, the humanity!

* I love peanut butter!
Need I say more?

* Is it wrong to wash your hands more than 30 times within 8 hours period of time?
Don't blame me. Blame the yucky smelling and extremely crumpled looking qualities of Indonesian's cash.

* I was at the doctor's waiting room, and I saw a news coverage at TV regarding the increase occurrence of fights between female gangs. This already tickled my nose a bit with its hilariousness, but I couldn't help but laugh out loud when they inserted a caption: "Perbuatan Tidak Terpuji, Jangan Ditiru!" (A Not Commended Action, Do Not Imitate!).

Below is a coverage from a different channel with the caption: "Jangan Meniru Adegan Ini!" (Do Not Imitate This Activity!) in it.


So, for me, it's hilarious, because they do not put any warnings in any other news coverage: be it the Israel-Palestine war, the anarchist demonstration that has killed a politic figure or even the mass surge of desperation to a 'dukun cilik' (little healer) that has killed several people. But for this news, they feel the need to specifically tell the viewers that these activities are not to be imitated. Right on!

* Why do I write my blog only when I'm at work?
Well, d'uh!

* Last point: Hooray on a new post!
Finally, Nit2 can stop complaining about having to see the damn scale picture every time she checks out my blog :P

On Being Alone in the Ocean of Noise

So, I watched Ip Man yesterday, alone.

Based on last night's experience of feeling as if I was physically deformed and became the destination of secretive mocking looks - you know, the look that spells out as "Oh, look at this poor anti social unpopular dweeb" - I have managed to formulate reasons why it is not advisable to watch movie alone, ever, again in the vicinity of an area marked in the map as Indonesia:

1) It's just not the common thing here. As simple as that. People do things together, it's the community culture of Asia versus the individuality culture of the Western. Heck, I even spotted 2 teen chicks getting out of the same bathroom stall and from the way they behaved, they didn't feel as if it was weird or ... a bit gay-ish, maybe?

So, lesson to learn:
- Going to the movie alone, WEIRD. Going to the bathroom stall together, The dullest thing that no one in his right mind should even bother to notice.
- Going to the movie alone, PATHETIC. Two guys hugging each other while walking or one guy slapping the other guy's thigh, Why, what's wrong with that?

2) And even if you try to defy from this common culture, you'll still end up fearing that you meet someone you know and have them judge you as oh, I don't know, a poor anti social unpopular dweeb? Granted, I know deep down that I truly am a hermit geek, I still don't want people to remove any shed of their doubts and stamp yours truly with that honorable title.

So, unless you can move boldly to the ticket booth without fear of the staring looks of people you don't know, or God forbids, someone you know! Please, next time, beg your friends to go with you to watch the damn movie.

Although, being who I am, I don't think last night will be my last time watching the movie alone :P

No Love for Tukang Tambal Ban?

There is a survey that one needs to complete when they want to get their NIK (Nomor Induk Kependudukan). One of the questions is in regard of your occupation, and you have to choose from the existing list of options.

The list is so incredible that I need to share with all of you. Please click to enlarge and see all of the glorious options:


Now, the list is awesome and quite thorough already, but I can't help to wonder. Why there is no love for Tukang Tambal Ban?


Any other occupations that you think should be included in this list?

Bribe Me Please

Indonesian Corruption Watch (ICW) has just announced East Java as the second most corrupt province in Indonesia. The first position belongs to DKI Jakarta.

Upon reading this news, I was greatly saddened. Why does Jakarta always have to be number 1?

We, as the citizens of East Java, have done our best to improve the corruption rate. We've tried to bribe whenever we can. Passport Renewal? ID Card Renewal? You name any type of cards, forms, and letters that require the stamp of government, and you can rest assured that we have, in one way or another, bribed the officials to smoothen the process.

Many departments in our province have also worked hard to beat Jakarta on this race. The article in Jawa Pos has mentioned that the health department and education department in our province have so many loopholes for corruption. So does the procurement department for civil servants (Pegawai Negeri Sipil). Keep up the good work guys!

Unfortunately, there have been some attempts to drop our rank. Take my city, Surabaya, for example. They introduced a drive-thru system for driver license renewal. No corruption opportunity here (at least not yet).

Early this year, they also released a strict no-bribe policy for traffic rules violators. The regulation stated that anyone who attempts to bribe the cops will be imprisoned immediately. There were even a few individuals who have gone to jail because of their ignorance to this policy.

This somehow reminds me of what happened a few weeks ago. I was stopped by a police officer while I was driving. Apparently, I was making an illegal U-Turn. Turns out, you can only make a U-Turn when you’re at the right most lane. I was at the second to right, so a right turn is allowed, but not a U-Turn.

I was so sure that I didn’t make any mistake, that when the police officer stopped me, I was so furious.

Police: Can I see your driver license and registration please?
Me: What have I done, Sir?
Police: You have made an illegal U-Turn, Mam.
Me: But there is a U-Turn sign at the corner and I’m on the lane that can either turn right or go straight. So, it’s a legal turn, Sir. (What a schmuck I was).
Police: Yes, but that lane only allows you to turn right, not U-Turn.
Me: But there is a U-Turn sign, Sir.
Police: Again, can I see your driver license and registration please? And please step aside to our post.
Me: But, I’m innocent, Sir.
Police: Just come to our post please.
Me: Fine.

At the post police

Me: I have done no wrong, Sir.
Police: Just hear me out, OK. Imagine what happens if the car at the right most lane wants to turn right while you’re trying to make a U-Turn.

He then made a little imaginary sketch to try to emphasize his point:

(Materializing the sketch for your convenience)

Me: Ahh, Kaboom, Sir!
Police: YES, that’s right! (He seemed so relieved that my tiny stubborn brain can finally understand his point)
Me: Well, sir, I really didn’t mean to break the law. I really didn’t know.
Police: Fine, well, can you come to the court on the xxth to go on a trial and pay the fine?
Me: To the court, Sir?
Police: Yes, to the court? Will you be able to attend?
Me: Well, I would be working on that day, Sir. Can’t you just let me go with warning, Sir? I really didn’t have any intention to break the law.

(using my Shrek's cat's innocent eyes technique)

Police: Haha, no, I can’t do that. So, will you be able to attend, Mam?
Me: Well, Sir, as I’ve said, I will be working on that day. Is there any other option, Sir?
Police: Well, no, you have to come and attend the trial. So, what shall we do now?
Me: I don’t know, Sir. Can’t you tell me what other options I have?
Police: Well, if you want to, I can help pay the fine for you. So you don’t have to go to the court yourself.
Me: Ahh, yes, Sir. That would be great.
Police: Well, here’s the chart. Based on your violation, you will have to pay Rp. 40.000,-.
Me: Hmm, can’t you put me on a very light violation category, Sir? The one that only costs Rp. 25.000,-? As I’ve said, I really didn’t know that it was against the law, Sir.
Police: Haha, no, I can’t.
Me: Well … I don’t have an exact change. I only have Rp. 50.000,-, Sir.
Police: Well, I don’t have any change for that.
Me: That’s fine, I guess.
Police: Alright then, here’s your driver license and registration.
Me: Thank you, Sir!
Police: Drive safe!
Me: OK, Sir!

Wow, I was blown away. Not only that they were not asking for bribes, they were being helpful and offered assistance to pay my fine.

Maybe we don’t have to be number one on this corruption thingy. The title can be all yours to keep Jakarta! I'd rather have a clean and helpful government.

But wait, they didn’t write down my driver license number or any other data. How can they pay the fine for me? Oh, they must have written it quickly while I wasn’t paying any attention.

Yes… that must be it.

Disclaimer: The writer is a law abiding citizen who is repulsed by the idea of corruption and bribery. Any part of this post that indicates an action of bribing by the writer must be considered as a fiction only.

*grin*

Who am I?

Hasn't everyone asked this question at some point in their lives?

Who am I? Where is my place in this world? What is the purpose of my life?

Well, thankfully for my sisters and I, we have our beloved mother who seems to know exactly who we are. In fact, she knows us very well, that she can give a succinct yet thorough description of each of us to any strangers with willing ears.

Meeting a client at a wedding?

The little one? Oh, she's studying abroad at states now. She majors in animation. She never had any formal study at art before, but she managed to get into a Top 10 art school in U.S. What can I say, she loves to draw since she was a kid.

Meeting an old friend at a funeral?

Well, my oldest daughter is in the states now. She received her PhD from Princeton. Now she's taking a postdoc at Harvard, Boston. Yes, she's very smart. She's always been no.1 at school since kindergarten.

Meeting a distant relative at a family gathering?

Oh, hi, this is my second daughter (pointing at me). She used to study at Madison. After she graduated, she worked for 2 years in Minneapolis. She went back last year to accompany us.

So it goes, my mom has an elevator pitch for each one of her children. Mine is the most boring one sadly. Usually the following conversation follows:

Stranger: Madison, Minneapolis? Where are those?
Me: They're near Chicago.
Stranger: Ahhh, Chicago, yes, yes. So, why did you go back? Isn't it nicer there?
Me: Ha... Ha... Ha... *awkward* Actually, no, I think both US and Indonesia are nice.
Mom: Well, my other children are in the states now, so she went back to be with us.
Stranger: Ah, yes, yes, of course.

Regardless where the direction of the conversation goes, my mom already has answers ready for any questions thrown to her. Any questions but one.

So, how many of your daughters have gotten married?

Bam! You can see her face expression changes from a glowing pride to a worried concern.

None yet.

Short with no explanation. So atypical of her. This translates to a code yellow for me.

Alert peyo, the forbidden topic has been touched and discussed. Be careful with what you say and do.

As if this isn't already bad enough, some of these strangers manage to hit my mom's central nerves when they start to takeover the bragging business.

Ah, I see. All of my children have gotten married. The last one got married 3 months ago. I'm so relieved now, no more burden. Now I can just relax and play with my grandchildren.

Tongue tied, my mom usually manages to mumble some insincere reply.

Ah yes... that's very nice... Congratulations.

When this happens, it only translates to one thing for me.

CODE RED ALERT! CODE RED ALERT! Stay away from the dangerous object. Keep a safe distance until danger has subsided. This may take 3-7 days, depending on the level of radiation. Do not attempt to trigger anything that may cause unwanted reaction and extended regrets.

So anyway, it seems that, no matter who you are, through the lens of Chinese Indonesian community, the only thing that matters is your marriage status.

If you're married, you're a worthy human being. If you're still single, well Missy, you're nothing but a worthless junk.

Such is the hard case of life.

The Moustache wins!

The moustache finally wins. But never had I expected that the governor election would be this dramatic.

I've promised on my previous post that I'll give updates on the election. So, here's what has happened in the past week:

> The quick counts from 3 independent organizations have informed that Khofifah (not Karwo, the moustache) has higher votes by 1%. Since margin error is 1%, none of these orgs dared to declare the election winner.

> Khofifah party and her supporters were overjoyed hearing this and assumed her win. The bouquet of flowers and congratulatory remarks were sent to her residency.

Karwo and his moustache were still hopeful and believed that they would win. They had nasi tumpeng to celebrate. I like nasi tumpeng, especially the perkedel. Bik Yah makes wickedly delicious perkedel btw, which I'm going to eat tonight. Slurp.

> While waiting for the official vote count announced on November 11th, Khofifah made the headline news by throwing an accusation of vote manipulation in several regions by the Karwo side. Karwo disregarded this accusation and kept eating his nasi tumpeng.

> On November 11th, the day of the official vote count, Megawati posted ads in newspapers, requesting all of her party followers to protect the legit win of Khofifah. In other words, should Khofifah lost, she endorses her followers to go out to the streets for demonstration and some form of civil anarchy. They happened to be very good at this activity.

There's a whole lot of politics behind Megawati's strong support to Khofifah. Karwo is the candidate from Democrat Party, which happens to be SBY's party. Khofifah is the candidate from PKB party. Megawati's candidate already lost in the first round.

If Megawati wants to win East Java on the presidential election, she has no other way but to support Khofifah. Khofifah herself has announced that she will be more than happy to support Megawati on her presidential bid. Such sell out that Khofifah.

> In order to maintain safety during the vote count, the road to the hotel where the votes being counted was closed. This happens to be the artery road of Surabaya, so a lot of business was being forced to close for a full day. Traffic jam was everywhere in downtown, wasting away the precious time and gasoline of the people of Surabaya.

1300 cops and 50 soldiers were put to the streets. There were also several water canons and tanks with the biggest bullets I've ever seen ready on the street. Thankfully, no demonstration or fights between candidates supporters occurred.

I wanted so bad to be there and take some pictures, but I have to work and Bik Yah and my mom would lock me out of the house if I really went.

> So, the verdict?
The Moustache won by 60 thousands votes, a win by 0.3%.
Total invalid votes is approx. 500 thousands.
Eligible voters who didn't vote is 15 million people, which is 49% of the total eligible voters. Isn't this hilarious or what? Turns out, the people don't give a damn who becomes the governor. Ha!

> So, is this the end of it?
Unfortunately, it's not. Khofifah doesn't accept the result, and will bring her case to the court. Supposedly, according to the law, the court result should be given in two weeks time, but that has never been the case here. Let's take a moment to give props to our bureaucratic efficiency! Anyway, the governor has to be elected before the year end, so this whole election saga will have to have its end by December.

> Meanwhile, Karwo is grateful to the result and celebrate his win by shaving his moustache. Wait a minute, what?!? This glorious moustache?

Dude, I voted the moustache, not you! Now after you win, you're ditching the moustache?!?! So much for being grateful pal.

Oh well, bye bye dear moustache, you will always be remembered. R.I.P.

on House Maids, Colonialism, and Conscience

One of our maids didn't go back after Lebaran. Well, she did go back about 2-3 weeks after Lebaran to pick up her clothes. But she received enough rants and reprimands from my mom that I'm sure she won't ever want to go back to work at our house at any cost.

It's probably for the best. She was a bit on the lazy side and she was being disrespectful to Bik Yah. Bik Yah is the true master of our house. Once, I was even thinking to create a spin-off from the popular TV show 'Suami-Suami Takut Istri' (Husbands Afraid of Wives). I would call it 'Majikan-Majikan Takut Pembantu' (Employers Afraid of Maids). The screenplay would be inspired from my experience at home the day before. Easy breezy money.

Bik Yah has been with our family for more than 10 years. She's never been married and both her parents have passed away. In a way, she thinks of us more as her family just as we treated her more than just our maid.

Bik Yah doesn't listen. We fight a losing battle on our mission to have her dishes less salty. Everytime, after eating her meals, we would tell her,

Oh my God, Bik Yah, it's too salty! Do you know that people could die from eating too much salt? Can you please make it less salty next time?

She would just reply lazily,

Oh, too salty? That's too bad.

That's all she does though. Come the next meal, it would be salty as usual and we would do the same routine again. Nothing ever changes. We often wonder why we even bother telling her. We will still say it nevertheless. It is us pretending that we have any say to things that enter our body.

Sometimes, we even assume that she's doing this for our health sake. You see, both my mom and I have low blood pressure, so Bik Yah is only being thoughtful when she adds that extra heap of salt when cooking. I know... the lies we say to ourselves.

We often get chastised by Bik Yah. She would lecture my mom from buying things that are too expensive from the grocery store. She'd also lecture me if I skip meals or not eating the food that she has made for me.

Sometimes, when she makes mistake and receives some lecture from my mom, I would involuntarily release such ugly and evil laugh of which I have no ability to stop. My mom would then stop lecturing, and both her and Bik Yah would look at me with the look of disbelief.

Mom: Dear God, is this really my child?
Bik Yah: Poor nonik (nickname for me), she seems a bit loopy. Maybe she needs more salt.

Bik Yah however, is very loyal to her friends. She would defend the other maids even if the reason my mom lecturing them is their rude and disobedience to Bik Yah. Such is the enigma of Bik Yah.

And so, we are looking another maid for a replacement of the foregone maid. Her main job is pretty much to assist Bik Yah doing the house chores and keep her company during the day. So, we made a phone call to the to-go-to person for this maid business. Last Sunday, he arrived with a guy and 2 children.

My mom and I were on our way out, so we both met them at our driveway. The guy brought forth the older child and introduced her to us:

Hi, this is my niece. She's 16 years old, no ... 14 years old. She doesn't go to school anymore, so I figure that it's better for her to help around here rather than sitting idle at home.

My jaw was probably dropped for a good 30 seconds or so before I remembered to close my mouth shut. Here, in front of me, was a kid that is way shorter than me, and peeps, I am short. She was carrying a backpack that covered her whole backside. She had a blank stare, completely oblivious of the whole situation. My mother would later call her as piyek (a chick, indicating her young age and her greenness). My estimation... she is no older than 10 years old, 12 years old would be stretching it.

While her uncle was trying to convince us to hire her and her little brother was making circles around us while giggling endlessly, my mind wandered...

Is this thing even legal?

If we employ her, will we be sued by the Komnas HAM (human rights committee) and Komnas Perlindungan Anak (children protection committee)? Will we replace Syekh Puji as the headline filler?

Can employing her be categorized as slavery and therefore put us with the likes of Dutch and Japanese during the colonialism era?

I can totally imagine Bik Yah afraid of telling her around and instead treating her like a queen, which will make her position higher than us, her employers. My mom will try to order her to water the garden and she would hurt her little fingers from pressing the tip of the hose, trying to increase the water pressure. Her uncle would come marching, together with Kak Seto (the head of Komnas Perlindungan Anak) and demand the best medication that money can have or else we will be on the newspaper headline the next morning.

Luckily, my mom told the uncle a straight no as the answer, noting her young age and her petite figure as not suitable for the tasks in our house.

As they left, I can't help but wonder where she will end up with that kind of uncle as her guardian. Will she be employed at other household or will she work at the street selling newspaper or worse, begging.

As I imagined worse and worse scenarios, I wonder if we should have employed her instead. She could help around a bit and she can go to school during the day just like kids around her age do. Sure, we will be further ignored by Bik Yah, but we're used to it by now.

But who am I kidding, taking care of another human being will be the last thing on my mom's agenda during this hectic moment in our family. And I know that this is just my impulse saying, further consideration would deem this idea as unrealistic and foolish thinking.

But there seems to be something wrong. Should I have done something? Can I do something? Do I want to do anything?

Conscience can be such a terrible thing to have.

I voted!

November the 4th has finally arrived. Today is the first time I exercise my rights of living in a democratic country and vote to elect the leader that will bring the changes we all hope for.

So who did I vote? No, I didn't vote for Obama. Nor did I vote for McCain. Uhmm, so who did you vote peyo?!?!?

Sadly, I'm in no position to vote the leader of the United States. What I have the right for is to vote the leader of East Java province, Indonesia. Hooray!

So, here's the background. It's the second round of election. There were 5 candidates in the first round, and it has now been reduced to 2 candidates.

And here are the candidates:


So, who did I vote? Well, let me first give you the reasoning behind my decision:

1) Khofifah doesn't have any nickname. Karwo has a cool nickname: PakDe Karwo (Uncle Karwo).

2) Khofifah's ads suck, the same goes for her public speaking skill.

3) Karwo's ads are more tasteful, and he chose a very funny and easy to remember slogan: Coblos Brengose (Prick The Moustache).

4) Khofifah is backed by Megawati. I don't like Megawati.

5) Gus Dur, who elected Khofifah as his minister during his term, has turned his back against her and backs Karwo instead. I like Gus Dur.

6) This picture:

And so, after thoughtful consideration, I voted the candidate that I believe will be best suited to lead my province:


I decided to nyoblos brengose (prick the moustache)!

No final decision yet as to who wins the election. But I will update the post with the final result.

Surely I hope that Karwo will win, but not because I feel strongly for him. It's more like the feeling after picking a team or a horse to win the race, but without placing any bet on it. I will be happy if the team or the horse actually wins, but I won't cry over it if it loses.

So, how do I feel after exercising my rights to vote for the very first time? This street poet says it better than I ever can:

Picking a girlfriend/boyfriend is better than picking a governor

Amen brotha!

Pornography bill passed... and so it goes

The Pornography Bill was finally passed yesterday.

Color me surprised. The debates and demonstrations for the Pornography Bill has been going on for ages, even before I went back to Indo for good. I think at the very least, it's been going on for more than 2-3 years.

I never think of this issue as more than just a pleasing distraction from the more pressing and depressing issues that we, as a nation, have to face. Corruption, Economy, Education, Healthcare, ... Humbugh! Let's talk about pornography and the immorality of goyang bor people!

Come to think of it, I always assumed that this whole issue started because Rhoma Irama was jealous of the rising popularity of Inul and Dewi Persik. Bravo Oma!

Alas, this whole thing has turned into a law that restricts the freedom of expression for women. The extremist can rejoice. The liberalist and feminist can cry, and probably perform another round of demonstrations. Don't know if it will do any good at this point though.

I'm too tired to protest and complain, so let's take the positive side shall we girls?

Soe Hok Gie once said (paraphrasing cause I can't find it at google):

Bagaimana wanita bisa maju kalo yang dipikirkan hanya bedak dan lipstick saja?
How can women progress if the only things they think of are face powder and lipstick?

So, devil may care for our appearance and looks. Let's put on our sweaty pants and oversized T-shirt and eat ice cream and junk food together. Slumber party at my place?

Sorry boys, you're not invited, it maybe illegal and I don't want to break the law.

Daily Picture: Batik Tulis (Hand-drawn Batik)

Above is the waxing process of Batik Tulis (hand-drawn Batik).

Batik Tulis making process is quite elaborate. It consists of a repeated process of waxing, dyeing, and drying. To give colors to the batik fabric, the batik artisans will need to dye them. Prior to dyeing the fabric with a specific color, they will have to cover the area/ pattern that shouldn't be dyed with the color by waxing them. They use canting needle to draw the wax lines/pattern. After the dyeing and drying process, they will wash the wax off and repeat the whole process again until all colors have been applied.

Needless to say, it takes time and heavy manual labor to create a piece of batik tulis.

Needless to say, I will never going to make one.