Kasih Tak Sampai

When I think about my Bobo, I always remember the little story she loved to tell to every willing ears.

So there I was, accompanying my little grandchild to his first day at the kindergarten, and he was not afraid one bit! Instead, he squeezed my hand so tight, marched boldly forward to the classroom while screaming at the top of his lung, This is my Bobo! This is my Bobo!

She would chuckle and shake her head, looking as happy and proud as she could be and deep down, I always wished that the grandchild in her story had been me instead.

When I think about my Bobo, I remember fondly about the candy jar in her car and the cellophane filled candy in her purse, consistently maintained at a certain quantity and variety. Parking assistants and beggars on the street always sincerely thanked her for the extra something she gave. And everyone knew my Bobo was the to go to person when you want your candy fix!

When I think about my Bobo, I remember her big wood drawer with that weird pattern brass knobs and the amazingly fresh fragrant that attacked me every time I opened it. The secret ... she had never thrown off her soap wraps and would put them in between her folded clothes instead. My mom still does that even now.

As much as I love these little memories, I wish I could have known her better. I'm in the middle of scanning old pictures from the 60s and 70s and it made me miss her terribly and worse, it made me feel as if I don't know her at all. But then, I found, at the back of mini mom and mini aunt's picture, a song lyrics hand written by her, .


A quick Google trip and a stop at Sukolaras, I am now listening to the song, chuckling and shaking my head. If I could only have one wish now, it would be to go back in time and see my 30-something emo Bobo singing along to the song passionately, wholeheartedly.

:)

Just another drive to work

If you happened to drive along the Dharmahusada street on this lovely Saturday morning and heard a sudden high pitched shrieking voice, thy shall not worry, you have not just made a flatbread out of a wandering cat. It was in fact the voice of yours truly, jamming along Jack White on the electric guitar part of Seven Nation Army. A cup of bold robusta, a great short story by S.J. Perelman, and a rocking White Stripes album to accompany the drive to the office, I can't think of any better way to start your Saturday. Oh wait, how about not driving to the office?

It is an unfortunate turn of event, but for once, the natural order of the universe has been disturbed and I need to act as the bread winner while mother is chilling at home on Saturday. I know exactly what you think, how dare she! OK, warning peeps, Black Math is playing, here comes the head bopping. Truth to be told, mother is not exactly just chilling at home. After our trip to NZ, that ingrate Sus Siti has decided to take a vacation herself. Again, I know exactly what you think, how dare she! I'm just kidding, you're an A plus Sus Siti, come back soon? Honest to blog, I'd rather go to the office than replace her duties at home, so I need to suck it and stop griping the rest of this day. After all, isn't it just a wonderful day today? Sure indeed, and I will be stuck at work. OK, seriously, stop griping! And since the car in front of you just splits to two, stop bopping as well.

Maybe I could go out and take pictures after work. Office ends early on Saturday, 3pm-ish, I could venture the interesting town of Surabaya and meet the various characters in it. Sounds like a plan ... or I could just pray for a hefty rain which would inhibit outdoor activity and force me to switch to plan B: wrap myself with a blanket at home. Hmmm, state of dormancy. OK, red light, time to take the air electric guitar out from the compartment. Steady, you don't want the street vendor to think that you want to buy the whole bulk of whatever he's selling.

I could make pizza after work and watch a marathon of good movies for the whole night, the whole Saturday night. OMG, have I just wept while mouthing the words of I Just Don't Know What to Do with Myself? And I'm one minute away from the office. Come back good happy mood, I desperately need you! Oh, uhm, hello office mates, nice to meet y'all, I have news for you, you're all fired. Good bye and Happy Saturday to you!

Wednesday

It's cloudy with a chance of rain here in Surabaya and that's just the way I like it. I woke up this morning with Beth Rowley's You've Got Me Wrapped Me Around Your Little Finger playing in the loop inside my still mushy brain and it really set the mood of my day. Yes, it is going to be a mellow yellow Wednesday in the peyo universe and I welcome it with open arms after the crazy hyper kinetic Tuesday.

That was the optimist me this morning. Unfortunately, a few hours of work has sentenced mellow peyo to hell. The extreme noise pollution, the constant swirl of people, and the general tenseness of never ending problems really have the wonderful effect of driving my head to the wall.

At home after work, I popped a bottle of Storm, not the best beer in the world, but it is the best beer I could get my hands on living in Surabaya. Feeling warm and fuzzy, I set off against the raining darkness to the nearest Mall to acquire my comfort food, KFC chickens and McD fries and chocolate sundae.

Yes, it is peyo's night of indulgence! Accompanied by Up in the Air, I devoured all those food with pure abandonment. Of course by the time the movie was over and I have licked the last chocolate of the sundae, the alcohol effect started to wear off, the reasoning conveniently started to have the edge in the constant struggle against the id, and the food I have eaten started to feel like a cardboard box.

Never mind, life is all about balance. Yin and Yang, the good and the bad, the healthy wise choice and the stupid but at-the-time satisfying choice. In other words, I'm scheduling next Wednesday night for the same program.

Fast and Loose, Cajun Style!

I've been doing some thinking and from now on, I will change the way I write. It's going to be fast and loose, useless and incoherent, pointless and frequent.

Because a year from now, I would like to have the option to read, laugh, and mock the thoughts of my foolish past self. Should be a good fit with my goal this year, which is to live life rather than contemplate on life. Less thinking and more stupid thing.

A lower standard and a higher output, and when the lower standard becomes too high, I'll lower my standard again. There would of course come time when I couldn't lower it anymore and that's when the 4 months blogging hiatus is inevitable. But hey, that's still next week's problem! Let's not worry about the future and embrace the present. Yay!

I feel old. But not very wise.

It is the sentiment voiced out by Jenny in An Education. It also seems suited to describe how I feel in the beginning of this 2010.

I had a marathon of film watching to celebrate the end of the holiday, and the following are things I learn from it:
> 2012 may very well be the apocalypse for the human kind and so I need to stock up on seeds and take some internships with some local farmers (Collapse)
> Cardio is important, so does seatbelt (Zombieland)
> My taste is definitely reared to the oldies. I adore John Hurt but cringe at the sight of Jason Priestley (Love and Death on Long Island)
> I am able to stay awake while watching 3D, provided it costs $500 millions or so (Avatar)
> My crush on Robert Downey Jr. may have dissipated (Sherlock Holmes)

I accidentally found my journal and realized that the last entry was dated back on January 2009. I suck. This bare blog turns out to be a more reliable record of my life than the journal, so let's try to scribble some notes here and then. I know ... SAD.

Oh, I went to New Zealand, so I might post something about it ... heh.