Bribe Me Please

Indonesian Corruption Watch (ICW) has just announced East Java as the second most corrupt province in Indonesia. The first position belongs to DKI Jakarta.

Upon reading this news, I was greatly saddened. Why does Jakarta always have to be number 1?

We, as the citizens of East Java, have done our best to improve the corruption rate. We've tried to bribe whenever we can. Passport Renewal? ID Card Renewal? You name any type of cards, forms, and letters that require the stamp of government, and you can rest assured that we have, in one way or another, bribed the officials to smoothen the process.

Many departments in our province have also worked hard to beat Jakarta on this race. The article in Jawa Pos has mentioned that the health department and education department in our province have so many loopholes for corruption. So does the procurement department for civil servants (Pegawai Negeri Sipil). Keep up the good work guys!

Unfortunately, there have been some attempts to drop our rank. Take my city, Surabaya, for example. They introduced a drive-thru system for driver license renewal. No corruption opportunity here (at least not yet).

Early this year, they also released a strict no-bribe policy for traffic rules violators. The regulation stated that anyone who attempts to bribe the cops will be imprisoned immediately. There were even a few individuals who have gone to jail because of their ignorance to this policy.

This somehow reminds me of what happened a few weeks ago. I was stopped by a police officer while I was driving. Apparently, I was making an illegal U-Turn. Turns out, you can only make a U-Turn when you’re at the right most lane. I was at the second to right, so a right turn is allowed, but not a U-Turn.

I was so sure that I didn’t make any mistake, that when the police officer stopped me, I was so furious.

Police: Can I see your driver license and registration please?
Me: What have I done, Sir?
Police: You have made an illegal U-Turn, Mam.
Me: But there is a U-Turn sign at the corner and I’m on the lane that can either turn right or go straight. So, it’s a legal turn, Sir. (What a schmuck I was).
Police: Yes, but that lane only allows you to turn right, not U-Turn.
Me: But there is a U-Turn sign, Sir.
Police: Again, can I see your driver license and registration please? And please step aside to our post.
Me: But, I’m innocent, Sir.
Police: Just come to our post please.
Me: Fine.

At the post police

Me: I have done no wrong, Sir.
Police: Just hear me out, OK. Imagine what happens if the car at the right most lane wants to turn right while you’re trying to make a U-Turn.

He then made a little imaginary sketch to try to emphasize his point:

(Materializing the sketch for your convenience)

Me: Ahh, Kaboom, Sir!
Police: YES, that’s right! (He seemed so relieved that my tiny stubborn brain can finally understand his point)
Me: Well, sir, I really didn’t mean to break the law. I really didn’t know.
Police: Fine, well, can you come to the court on the xxth to go on a trial and pay the fine?
Me: To the court, Sir?
Police: Yes, to the court? Will you be able to attend?
Me: Well, I would be working on that day, Sir. Can’t you just let me go with warning, Sir? I really didn’t have any intention to break the law.

(using my Shrek's cat's innocent eyes technique)

Police: Haha, no, I can’t do that. So, will you be able to attend, Mam?
Me: Well, Sir, as I’ve said, I will be working on that day. Is there any other option, Sir?
Police: Well, no, you have to come and attend the trial. So, what shall we do now?
Me: I don’t know, Sir. Can’t you tell me what other options I have?
Police: Well, if you want to, I can help pay the fine for you. So you don’t have to go to the court yourself.
Me: Ahh, yes, Sir. That would be great.
Police: Well, here’s the chart. Based on your violation, you will have to pay Rp. 40.000,-.
Me: Hmm, can’t you put me on a very light violation category, Sir? The one that only costs Rp. 25.000,-? As I’ve said, I really didn’t know that it was against the law, Sir.
Police: Haha, no, I can’t.
Me: Well … I don’t have an exact change. I only have Rp. 50.000,-, Sir.
Police: Well, I don’t have any change for that.
Me: That’s fine, I guess.
Police: Alright then, here’s your driver license and registration.
Me: Thank you, Sir!
Police: Drive safe!
Me: OK, Sir!

Wow, I was blown away. Not only that they were not asking for bribes, they were being helpful and offered assistance to pay my fine.

Maybe we don’t have to be number one on this corruption thingy. The title can be all yours to keep Jakarta! I'd rather have a clean and helpful government.

But wait, they didn’t write down my driver license number or any other data. How can they pay the fine for me? Oh, they must have written it quickly while I wasn’t paying any attention.

Yes… that must be it.

Disclaimer: The writer is a law abiding citizen who is repulsed by the idea of corruption and bribery. Any part of this post that indicates an action of bribing by the writer must be considered as a fiction only.

*grin*

Between Bond and the Mafia

Quantum of Solace left me unsatisfied. As entertaining as it was, I felt like I'm watching a modern action movie the likes of Bourne rather than watching a Bond franchise.

I think Ebert captured my sentiment precisely. Where's the absurd gadget? Where's the cool detachment? This Bond is so thirsty of blood and so serious most of the times.

The only redeeming factor is watching some creative ads placements in the movie. M applying Avon Lotion while on the phone with Bond is one of the funny moments in the film. Another good one is Bond checking in to the luxury hotel by pretending that he's a teacher who just won a lottery (ads for UK National Lottery).

All in all, I may like Bond better if it's not because of this scene:

Yeah, you there missy, you're bothering me.

Seriously, is it even remotely possible to walk on the dessert barefoot and still maintain that brooding look?

Don't you feel the slightest bit of burning sensation on your feet from walking on hot sands?

Don't you feel any pain from stepping on the rocks?

This scene bothers me so much that I couldn't fully concentrate for the rest of the film.


Anyway, I wouldn't even talk about Bond had I not seen this news. Carabinieri Police has seized a cellphone pistol that belongs to a mafia boss.


Now, doesn't it sound wrong when people in real life uses wackier gadget than Bond? Granted the cell phone's look is not something to brag about. It actually reminds me of a big good old cellphone used by Hongkong mafias in the 90's movies.

However, what lacks in design is paid off in its feature. Whenever you feel like shooting someone, just press 5-8 and four .22 caliber rounds will fire in quick succession. To reload, just slide the cellphone in the middle and place the ammunition.

Someone even came up with the illustration of how this cellphone gun works. I guess, anything to help fellow earth inhabitants to reproduce this fine piece of machine.


By the way, if someone is really going to build a newer version of this, can you please make it look slicker? Bond might like to order one for the next sequel.

Little House

The owner has lived here for more than 10 years. She allowed me to take some pictures and asked me to excuse her house for being so ugly. I said that it was a lovely house and she smiled :)

6 years old

This weekend, my mom and I went to Giant hypermarket for some grocery shopping. Why? Because we are Indonesians and Giant has told us that Giant is the place to shop for Indonesians (Giant: Tempat Berbelanja orang Indonesia).

It didn't hit me until I was there that this was a big mistake. Usually we go to Bonnet, a nice medium sized supermarket nearby our house, filled with all things we need and some things we may want. Hypermarket such as Giant introduces its visitors to a bazillion of things that we never think we need or want. There were more aisles to explore and my mom seemed to determine to get to know each aisles and the products it offered.

Aisle 1: Hello, may I offer you a nice new set of spoons with a reduced price? Or how about this salad bowl that will surely become the talk of the guest?
Mom: You know Me (my nickname), I think we need extra spoons. And look at that beautiful salad bowl!

Aisle 2: Good afternoon Mam, can I introduce you to this efficient and modern 2 piece drawer? And how about a rattan basket that will look good at every room in your house?
Mom: Me, hold on! Check out this cute drawer. Oh, the rattan basket is nice too, don't you think?

After 30 minutes and 2 aisles later, I got all fidgety and decided to wander around the place myself. As always is the case, I gravitated toward my favorite aisle, the snack aisle.

Hmm, snacks. Let's see, let's have some Chitato potato chips. What flavors should I have? Why don't we just grab one each peyo? Great idea self! BBQ, Roasted Chicken, Cheese, and Plain. Nyum.

What else, what else? Well hello Chiki! Only chocolate flavor but that will do. And oh, Chic-Choc Chocolate Biscuit Balls, heavenly! And don't forget, when you're on a break, you need Kit Kat! Let's grab several of those since I'm on a break a lot of times. And my oh my, they have Beng-Beng Peanut Butter! Slurpilicious!

The pile of snacks on my hands went higher and higher and it became harder for me to see my surroundings. So, I decided that I had enough of snacks to last for a week and started to look for my mom's grocery cart. That's called self-control people!

While I was on my way, I overheard a little discussion between a mother and her 6-year-old little boy.

Kiddo: Mom, can I have Jet-Z please? I want the plastic toy inside of it! Please, mommy, please?
Mom: No kiddo, you'll get sore throat. Plus, you'll get bored with the toys and leave it scattered all over the house.
Kiddo: Mom, how about this Panda Bear cookies? Can I have this, my dear Mommy?
Mom: No kiddo, no snacks for now, it's raining season and I don't want you to get sick.
Kiddo: *pouting* Mommmyyyyyyyyyy .....

As I walked passed the mother and the boy, the boy looked at me and my pile of treasures longingly. I pretended that I wasn't aware of the vehement envious stare while I inadvertently released a small snicker.

Poor sucker, you'll need to wait at least 10 years before you can have your own unprohibited snack binge.

As soon as I realized that I was schadenfreude*-ing over the misery of a little boy, I felt very bad.

Maybe I'm not ready for motherhood as yet.

This is not such a bad conclusion since I'm in no way near of being a mother. First, I need to find a boyfriend, and manage to fool him to marry me. I also need to convince my mother of the ridiculousness of a big wedding. Not to mention finding the perfect house equipped with a large TV and awesome sounding speakers. A big and beautiful book and CD cabinet is a must. And last but not least, a fast computer with TeraBytes storage capacity and high speed internet. What was I talking about again? Oh yeah, motherhood and babies.

I finally found my mother held captured at the stationary aisle. I put all of my snacks inside the cart and sat and waited. Another 45 minutes have passed, and I started to get hungry. It's one o'clock pm.

Me: Mom, could you please hurry up? I'm hungry...
Mom: But I've only visited a few aisles.
Me: Well mom, if you had spent less time at each aisle, we would have visited every inch of this building by now.
Mom: Just a minute Me, I need to buy some oatmeal, frying oil, bread, milk, shampoo, .... *the list goes on*
Me: Oh my gosh, Mommyyyyyyyyyy .... *pouting*

That's when it dawned on me. Not only that I'm not ready for a motherhood, I'm still, at present, acting like a 6 years old myself.

Well done self. Well done.


Note:
*Schadenfreude: enjoyment obtained from the troubles of others.

Who am I?

Hasn't everyone asked this question at some point in their lives?

Who am I? Where is my place in this world? What is the purpose of my life?

Well, thankfully for my sisters and I, we have our beloved mother who seems to know exactly who we are. In fact, she knows us very well, that she can give a succinct yet thorough description of each of us to any strangers with willing ears.

Meeting a client at a wedding?

The little one? Oh, she's studying abroad at states now. She majors in animation. She never had any formal study at art before, but she managed to get into a Top 10 art school in U.S. What can I say, she loves to draw since she was a kid.

Meeting an old friend at a funeral?

Well, my oldest daughter is in the states now. She received her PhD from Princeton. Now she's taking a postdoc at Harvard, Boston. Yes, she's very smart. She's always been no.1 at school since kindergarten.

Meeting a distant relative at a family gathering?

Oh, hi, this is my second daughter (pointing at me). She used to study at Madison. After she graduated, she worked for 2 years in Minneapolis. She went back last year to accompany us.

So it goes, my mom has an elevator pitch for each one of her children. Mine is the most boring one sadly. Usually the following conversation follows:

Stranger: Madison, Minneapolis? Where are those?
Me: They're near Chicago.
Stranger: Ahhh, Chicago, yes, yes. So, why did you go back? Isn't it nicer there?
Me: Ha... Ha... Ha... *awkward* Actually, no, I think both US and Indonesia are nice.
Mom: Well, my other children are in the states now, so she went back to be with us.
Stranger: Ah, yes, yes, of course.

Regardless where the direction of the conversation goes, my mom already has answers ready for any questions thrown to her. Any questions but one.

So, how many of your daughters have gotten married?

Bam! You can see her face expression changes from a glowing pride to a worried concern.

None yet.

Short with no explanation. So atypical of her. This translates to a code yellow for me.

Alert peyo, the forbidden topic has been touched and discussed. Be careful with what you say and do.

As if this isn't already bad enough, some of these strangers manage to hit my mom's central nerves when they start to takeover the bragging business.

Ah, I see. All of my children have gotten married. The last one got married 3 months ago. I'm so relieved now, no more burden. Now I can just relax and play with my grandchildren.

Tongue tied, my mom usually manages to mumble some insincere reply.

Ah yes... that's very nice... Congratulations.

When this happens, it only translates to one thing for me.

CODE RED ALERT! CODE RED ALERT! Stay away from the dangerous object. Keep a safe distance until danger has subsided. This may take 3-7 days, depending on the level of radiation. Do not attempt to trigger anything that may cause unwanted reaction and extended regrets.

So anyway, it seems that, no matter who you are, through the lens of Chinese Indonesian community, the only thing that matters is your marriage status.

If you're married, you're a worthy human being. If you're still single, well Missy, you're nothing but a worthless junk.

Such is the hard case of life.

A story about a boy and a girl

There was a boy and there was a girl.

The girl lived in the big city and lived a colorful life, filled with jazz, dance and parties. The boy lived in a smaller city and lived a simple life, filled with true friends and endless laughter.

The boy and the girl met by the game of badminton. They played together and soon they exchanged stories and laughs together. The boy fell hard for the girl. Alas, the girl's feeling was not the same.

The girl was already fallen to another boy in the big city. She was smittened by his suave dancing skill, smooth talk, and charming personality. Not long after, they became a couple.

The boy was crushed but he couldn't let her go. He knew that the big city boy was just playing with her heart. He talked to her family and found out that they had the same concern as him.

Finally from the words of mouth, her family found out that the big city boy was courting a much older lady. A lady who was rich and prominent in the city. The family set the girl up so she would see the affair with her own eyes.

She was devastated. At that moment, her family told the boy to propose to her. She was too weak to refuse.

The boy promised to love her with all his heart and he never swayed from his promise. It was not long before the girl was touched by the love and kindness of the boy. She finally loved him with all of her heart as well.

They lived a simple and quite life. They were not rich in the material sense, but they had each others love to make their lives felt rich and complete. As time goes by, they became a father and a mother and later, a grandfather and a grandmother.

A few years ago, the girl was feeling a bit unwell. She checked herself up and found out that she had a breast cancer. After a long cry on her drive home, she made the decision not to go on a medication nor to tell her family and relatives.

You see, her husband's recent foot surgery cost a fortune and her children were not in the best financial state yet. Not only that, she was afraid that her husband would worry sick and lose his health as well.

So she kept her silence. She only broke the news to one of her colleagues at work. The colleague was sworn not to tell anyone. Around Chinese New Year this year, the colleague could no longer keep her promise and told the situation to the girl's sister.

The sister gave the news to the boy. He was furious and sad. He begged her to go on a medication but she refused. The girl became very skinny. The cancer has already spread to the bones, and later to the lung.

Throughout this time, the boy was always on her side. Fed her, bathed her, accompanied her. Sometimes he cried, but he tried to maintain a strong appearance in front of her.

One morning, she could not wake up from her sleep. The relatives swarmed by, trying to come into acceptance that the time has come for the girl to go. The Hymn for Life was playing all day long.

Later that night, the boy gained enough courage to whisper to his girl that she could leave him and the children. The priest gave her the final prayer and she passed away.

After 42 years, the boy is now without the love of his life on his side.

In my life time, never have I seen someone who loves another human being as much as my uncle loves my aunt.

Farewell my dear aunt. You will always be remembered.

The Grilled Cheese Project

Had this conversation with vion this afternoon. Why? Because we are a couple of hardworking bees, that's why.

vion: I just realized that it's hard for me to trust people 100% at work. I think I can only trust a few people, you included... unfortunately.

peyo: Nah, I think we had arguments too while we were in the same project at college. Arguments and Food! Especially... Grilled cheese! Sigh, I want one now :(

vion: Did we? As far as I remember, we argued about anything except the project itself, didn't we?

peyo: Dunno, the only thing left in my memory is just that we ate a lot of grilled cheese!

vion: You know pey, I also forget the name of the class. I just remember the grilled cheese... Grilled Cheese... Hmmm... Nyummy...

peyo: Yeah, we only remember the good important parts.

vion: Man, are we really this pathetic?

peyo: So much for paying thousands of dollars for tuition.

vion: Sigh...

peyo: Sigh...

The Moustache wins!

The moustache finally wins. But never had I expected that the governor election would be this dramatic.

I've promised on my previous post that I'll give updates on the election. So, here's what has happened in the past week:

> The quick counts from 3 independent organizations have informed that Khofifah (not Karwo, the moustache) has higher votes by 1%. Since margin error is 1%, none of these orgs dared to declare the election winner.

> Khofifah party and her supporters were overjoyed hearing this and assumed her win. The bouquet of flowers and congratulatory remarks were sent to her residency.

Karwo and his moustache were still hopeful and believed that they would win. They had nasi tumpeng to celebrate. I like nasi tumpeng, especially the perkedel. Bik Yah makes wickedly delicious perkedel btw, which I'm going to eat tonight. Slurp.

> While waiting for the official vote count announced on November 11th, Khofifah made the headline news by throwing an accusation of vote manipulation in several regions by the Karwo side. Karwo disregarded this accusation and kept eating his nasi tumpeng.

> On November 11th, the day of the official vote count, Megawati posted ads in newspapers, requesting all of her party followers to protect the legit win of Khofifah. In other words, should Khofifah lost, she endorses her followers to go out to the streets for demonstration and some form of civil anarchy. They happened to be very good at this activity.

There's a whole lot of politics behind Megawati's strong support to Khofifah. Karwo is the candidate from Democrat Party, which happens to be SBY's party. Khofifah is the candidate from PKB party. Megawati's candidate already lost in the first round.

If Megawati wants to win East Java on the presidential election, she has no other way but to support Khofifah. Khofifah herself has announced that she will be more than happy to support Megawati on her presidential bid. Such sell out that Khofifah.

> In order to maintain safety during the vote count, the road to the hotel where the votes being counted was closed. This happens to be the artery road of Surabaya, so a lot of business was being forced to close for a full day. Traffic jam was everywhere in downtown, wasting away the precious time and gasoline of the people of Surabaya.

1300 cops and 50 soldiers were put to the streets. There were also several water canons and tanks with the biggest bullets I've ever seen ready on the street. Thankfully, no demonstration or fights between candidates supporters occurred.

I wanted so bad to be there and take some pictures, but I have to work and Bik Yah and my mom would lock me out of the house if I really went.

> So, the verdict?
The Moustache won by 60 thousands votes, a win by 0.3%.
Total invalid votes is approx. 500 thousands.
Eligible voters who didn't vote is 15 million people, which is 49% of the total eligible voters. Isn't this hilarious or what? Turns out, the people don't give a damn who becomes the governor. Ha!

> So, is this the end of it?
Unfortunately, it's not. Khofifah doesn't accept the result, and will bring her case to the court. Supposedly, according to the law, the court result should be given in two weeks time, but that has never been the case here. Let's take a moment to give props to our bureaucratic efficiency! Anyway, the governor has to be elected before the year end, so this whole election saga will have to have its end by December.

> Meanwhile, Karwo is grateful to the result and celebrate his win by shaving his moustache. Wait a minute, what?!? This glorious moustache?

Dude, I voted the moustache, not you! Now after you win, you're ditching the moustache?!?! So much for being grateful pal.

Oh well, bye bye dear moustache, you will always be remembered. R.I.P.

Attn: Jakarta People (Jakartans?)

Picture was taken at Grand Indonesia Mall, Jakarta.

I have a hard time taking pictures at Jakarta. Everywhere I go, the security or the employee always ended up telling me not to take any pictures at their properties. The problem is, they allowed people who take pictures using compact camera. What is this? A discrimination against SLR camera users?

For your information, not all SLR camera users are professional who get paid for taking pictures. Some of us are pathetic enough to consider taking pictures of mundane objects and strangers as our hobby. Not only that, we are willing to shelf out big bucks for the equipments. How sad are we?

So, Jakartans, next time you see us, instead of prohibiting us from taking pictures, you should have pity on us and give us full access to your property. Not only that, you should also offer to pose for us. With all the pain and the sacrifice that we endure, I think that's the least that you can do.

Got that? Good.

Maybe she would value a robot more than a daughter ...

Conversation during lunch:

Mom: So, should we cook bistik (Dutch: biefsteak, English: beefsteak) or chicken soup for dad?
Me: Chicken Soup!
Mom: Oh, but I've already asked Bik Yah to buy the ingredients for bistik.
Me: ... so, why did you even ask?

Late Saturday afternoon at work:

Mom: Me (my nickname), if you want to leave early from work that's ok.
Me: No, that's ok, it's almost closing hour anyway.
Mom: That's ok, just leave early, or do you want to go to Bonnet first and do the grocery?
Me: No, I want to go out and take pictures after work.
Mom: But, it's cloudy outside. So, Bonnet? *grinning*
Me: *sigh* Fine...

I swear this happens all the time. Imagine the psychological impact it has on me! Maybe I should consider seeing a shrink. Hmm, it might be hard to find one in Surabaya, and I definitely don't want to be placed at Menur instead.

Note: Menur, a shorthand for Rumah Sakit Jiwa Menur (Menur Mental Assylum), a place where they throw people with mental illnesses in Surabaya.

So, the question is: Is it just my mom, or is this a common thing for moms?

Why Mean Streets is such a damn good film

If I'm forced to describe Mean Streets in one sentence, I would say that it's a helluva fun film about bad people doing bad things. Not that helpful, I know, but that's how I see the film.

Mean Streets is the film that catapulted the career of Scorsese and may I say, deservingly so. Some people have now considered him as the greatest director alive and although I'm not in full agreement, I can definitely see their point.

The great thing about Mean Streets is its energy and its rawness. It's a very stylized movie with great dialogue and great rock and roll soundtrack. I believe Scorsese was the first to use pop music as soundtrack and I wholeheartedly thank him for that.

I was surprised when I found myself enjoying this movie more than Scorsese's other works. By all means, Taxi Driver and Raging Bull are superb movies. But the heart of Scorsese is in the stories of the Italian American neighborhood and that means films such as Mean Streets and Goodfellas.

In my book, Mean Streets wins over Goodfellas. Watching Mean Streets, you can feel that Scorsese was just in the process of finding his directing style. It's less polished than Goodfellas, but that's exactly why I love it more.

Here is my most favorite scene from the movie. The really good stuff comes around minute 3:20



Have you ever seen a fight scene in any other movies that feels this real? Did you notice the crude movement of the camera when it's zooming in on the boys or when it's following them? Awesomeness!

And not to mention the excellent dialogues. Here is when the boys decide that mook is such a terrible insult:

Johnny Boy: Hey, why don't you lower the jukebox, I can't hear nothin'.
Joey 'Clams' Scala: Hey, the girls like the music loud.
Johnny Boy: Girls. You call those skanks girls?
Joey 'Clams' Scala: [to Charlie] Hey, what's a matter with this kid, huh?
Johnny Boy: Hey, there ain't nothin' wrong with me my friend, I'm feelin' fine.
Charlie: Keep your mouth shut.
Johnny Boy: You tell me that in front of this asshole?
Joey 'Clams' Scala: Alright, alright, we're not gonna pay. We're not paying.
Jimmy: But why? Joey, we just said we were gonna have a drink.
Joey 'Clams' Scala: [Joey interupts] We're not payin', because this guy, this guy's a fuckin' mook.
Jimmy: But I didn't say nothin'.
Joey 'Clams' Scala: And we don't pay mooks.
Jimmy: Mook? I'm a mook?
Joey 'Clams' Scala: Yeah
Jimmy: What's a mook?
Johnny Boy: A mook, what's a mook?
Tony DeVienazo: I don't know...
Johnny Boy: What's a mook?
Jimmy: You can't call me a mook!
Joey 'Clams' Scala: I can't?
Jimmy: No...
Joey 'Clams' Scala: [pause] I'll give you mook!

Mean Streets is the quintessential Scorsese movie, and if you want to see why Scorsese is worshiped by so many people, you just have to watch this movie!

Heck, I don't mind watching it again with you :)

Link: imdb.

on House Maids, Colonialism, and Conscience

One of our maids didn't go back after Lebaran. Well, she did go back about 2-3 weeks after Lebaran to pick up her clothes. But she received enough rants and reprimands from my mom that I'm sure she won't ever want to go back to work at our house at any cost.

It's probably for the best. She was a bit on the lazy side and she was being disrespectful to Bik Yah. Bik Yah is the true master of our house. Once, I was even thinking to create a spin-off from the popular TV show 'Suami-Suami Takut Istri' (Husbands Afraid of Wives). I would call it 'Majikan-Majikan Takut Pembantu' (Employers Afraid of Maids). The screenplay would be inspired from my experience at home the day before. Easy breezy money.

Bik Yah has been with our family for more than 10 years. She's never been married and both her parents have passed away. In a way, she thinks of us more as her family just as we treated her more than just our maid.

Bik Yah doesn't listen. We fight a losing battle on our mission to have her dishes less salty. Everytime, after eating her meals, we would tell her,

Oh my God, Bik Yah, it's too salty! Do you know that people could die from eating too much salt? Can you please make it less salty next time?

She would just reply lazily,

Oh, too salty? That's too bad.

That's all she does though. Come the next meal, it would be salty as usual and we would do the same routine again. Nothing ever changes. We often wonder why we even bother telling her. We will still say it nevertheless. It is us pretending that we have any say to things that enter our body.

Sometimes, we even assume that she's doing this for our health sake. You see, both my mom and I have low blood pressure, so Bik Yah is only being thoughtful when she adds that extra heap of salt when cooking. I know... the lies we say to ourselves.

We often get chastised by Bik Yah. She would lecture my mom from buying things that are too expensive from the grocery store. She'd also lecture me if I skip meals or not eating the food that she has made for me.

Sometimes, when she makes mistake and receives some lecture from my mom, I would involuntarily release such ugly and evil laugh of which I have no ability to stop. My mom would then stop lecturing, and both her and Bik Yah would look at me with the look of disbelief.

Mom: Dear God, is this really my child?
Bik Yah: Poor nonik (nickname for me), she seems a bit loopy. Maybe she needs more salt.

Bik Yah however, is very loyal to her friends. She would defend the other maids even if the reason my mom lecturing them is their rude and disobedience to Bik Yah. Such is the enigma of Bik Yah.

And so, we are looking another maid for a replacement of the foregone maid. Her main job is pretty much to assist Bik Yah doing the house chores and keep her company during the day. So, we made a phone call to the to-go-to person for this maid business. Last Sunday, he arrived with a guy and 2 children.

My mom and I were on our way out, so we both met them at our driveway. The guy brought forth the older child and introduced her to us:

Hi, this is my niece. She's 16 years old, no ... 14 years old. She doesn't go to school anymore, so I figure that it's better for her to help around here rather than sitting idle at home.

My jaw was probably dropped for a good 30 seconds or so before I remembered to close my mouth shut. Here, in front of me, was a kid that is way shorter than me, and peeps, I am short. She was carrying a backpack that covered her whole backside. She had a blank stare, completely oblivious of the whole situation. My mother would later call her as piyek (a chick, indicating her young age and her greenness). My estimation... she is no older than 10 years old, 12 years old would be stretching it.

While her uncle was trying to convince us to hire her and her little brother was making circles around us while giggling endlessly, my mind wandered...

Is this thing even legal?

If we employ her, will we be sued by the Komnas HAM (human rights committee) and Komnas Perlindungan Anak (children protection committee)? Will we replace Syekh Puji as the headline filler?

Can employing her be categorized as slavery and therefore put us with the likes of Dutch and Japanese during the colonialism era?

I can totally imagine Bik Yah afraid of telling her around and instead treating her like a queen, which will make her position higher than us, her employers. My mom will try to order her to water the garden and she would hurt her little fingers from pressing the tip of the hose, trying to increase the water pressure. Her uncle would come marching, together with Kak Seto (the head of Komnas Perlindungan Anak) and demand the best medication that money can have or else we will be on the newspaper headline the next morning.

Luckily, my mom told the uncle a straight no as the answer, noting her young age and her petite figure as not suitable for the tasks in our house.

As they left, I can't help but wonder where she will end up with that kind of uncle as her guardian. Will she be employed at other household or will she work at the street selling newspaper or worse, begging.

As I imagined worse and worse scenarios, I wonder if we should have employed her instead. She could help around a bit and she can go to school during the day just like kids around her age do. Sure, we will be further ignored by Bik Yah, but we're used to it by now.

But who am I kidding, taking care of another human being will be the last thing on my mom's agenda during this hectic moment in our family. And I know that this is just my impulse saying, further consideration would deem this idea as unrealistic and foolish thinking.

But there seems to be something wrong. Should I have done something? Can I do something? Do I want to do anything?

Conscience can be such a terrible thing to have.

I voted!

November the 4th has finally arrived. Today is the first time I exercise my rights of living in a democratic country and vote to elect the leader that will bring the changes we all hope for.

So who did I vote? No, I didn't vote for Obama. Nor did I vote for McCain. Uhmm, so who did you vote peyo?!?!?

Sadly, I'm in no position to vote the leader of the United States. What I have the right for is to vote the leader of East Java province, Indonesia. Hooray!

So, here's the background. It's the second round of election. There were 5 candidates in the first round, and it has now been reduced to 2 candidates.

And here are the candidates:


So, who did I vote? Well, let me first give you the reasoning behind my decision:

1) Khofifah doesn't have any nickname. Karwo has a cool nickname: PakDe Karwo (Uncle Karwo).

2) Khofifah's ads suck, the same goes for her public speaking skill.

3) Karwo's ads are more tasteful, and he chose a very funny and easy to remember slogan: Coblos Brengose (Prick The Moustache).

4) Khofifah is backed by Megawati. I don't like Megawati.

5) Gus Dur, who elected Khofifah as his minister during his term, has turned his back against her and backs Karwo instead. I like Gus Dur.

6) This picture:

And so, after thoughtful consideration, I voted the candidate that I believe will be best suited to lead my province:


I decided to nyoblos brengose (prick the moustache)!

No final decision yet as to who wins the election. But I will update the post with the final result.

Surely I hope that Karwo will win, but not because I feel strongly for him. It's more like the feeling after picking a team or a horse to win the race, but without placing any bet on it. I will be happy if the team or the horse actually wins, but I won't cry over it if it loses.

So, how do I feel after exercising my rights to vote for the very first time? This street poet says it better than I ever can:

Picking a girlfriend/boyfriend is better than picking a governor

Amen brotha!

Maboroshi no Hikari

The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. What is called resignation is confirmed desperation.
Henry David Thoreau

Maboroshi no Hikari (1995) tells a story of Yumiko, a young widow who tries to make sense the death of her husband. She remarries again and finds joy and peace in the daily life, but she still can't stop questioning why her husband killed himself.

Maboroshi is a quiet and beautiful story. There are very minimal conversations and most of them are just daily conversations. We only sense the pain, the struggle, and emotion of Yumiko through her body language, her quiet contemplation when she's alone, and her involuntarily drift from her daily chores.

The star of the movie is the beautiful cinematography. The camera doesn't move. It decides the angle it will take for the particular scene and stays there. Most of the time, it decides to stay distant and at a low angle. It works really really well. Each scene is beautiful. The composition, the lighting, and the shadow are just right. I also love the small details that the director, Hirokazu Kore-Eda, emphasizes on many of the frames.

Watching this movie is like watching a play or reading a poetry. You become an active observant during the film. You empathize with Yumiko and you try to understand what she's thinking at that moment. You also appreciate scenes after scenes as if you are a museum attendance who can't help but admire the beautiful paintings on the wall.

I have to say that it is very refreshing to watch a film that really appreciates life for what it is; the struggle, the joy of the moment, and the acceptance of things unknown.

Since a picture speaks louder than words, below are some of my favorite images from the film (note that it was very hard to reduce it down to only 16 images):

Yumiko is saying goodbye, not knowing what happens next

Reflection of Yumiko

Yawned

The first night together

Sake at the foreground, party at the background

View from the kitchen

Perfect lighting and composition

The reflection

Children playing

One of the pillow shots - a rest/segway before the next scene

Yumiko's source of joy

Beautiful

Grandfather and grandson

A slit of light

Alone at the bus stop

My most favorite scene: silhouette of a funeral procession that Yumiko followed

Apology for the image quality, it breaks my heart but the only copy I have is a low resolution.

link: imdb